Right connection with your children
Have you ever came across a moment when your child just refused to listen to what you wanted to say and even threw a tantrum in front of others? As a parent, you are probably nodding your head. Having a deep, lasting bond is as important for the parents as it is for the children. The right connection allows children to not only feel safe, and also helps in maintaining a level of trust when parent act as their coach or advisor. Some of the effective approaches to develop the right connection with children are as follows:
1. Be playful
Believe it or not, being jolly and laughing with your children helps release the happy hormones; Oxytocin and Endorphins. Become their friend and you will see the right connection grow instantly. Which one will be more appealing to your child? “Eat your dinner now!” or “My little kitten, it’s time for dinner-your milk is getting cold.”
2. Put those gadgets away
Remember, your child comes first – before that phone call or text. When communicating with your child, make it a rule to not look or glance at your phone or laptop. Complete attention and direct eye contact from you as the parent indicates that you are listening and that he is important to you. As the right connection develops, they will even seek you as the first advisor for any situation.
3. Hug them
Yes, according to a study, adults but especially children need a lot of hugs during the day. A family therapist once said: “We need 4 hugs a day for survival. We need 8 hugs a day for maintenance. We need 12 hugs a day for growth." Hugging, a quick kiss on the forehead or lightly touching the hair gives reassurance and strengthens the bond with the parent.
4. Listen to them
Listening does not mean paying partial attention while you perform another task at the same time. Tune in your entire presence to them while answering with a “oh really? Okay…I see…” etc. Resist the urge to giving them a logical answer or your opinion unless they ask for it. In that case, become an advisor or even a coach. But take this opportunity to allow them to vent.
Being the parent, friend, coach and advisor all in one, try implementing these tips and watch your child’s behavior change. That right connection you have always wanted will start manifesting itself too.
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